Ever been in the middle of a great moment, only to have your brain hijack the whole experience with a to-do list or a random anxiety? For a lot of guys, this mental chatter is the ultimate mood killer, especially in the bedroom. But what if you could learn to turn down the volume on your thoughts and crank up the volume on pure, physical pleasure? Meet Alex from The Body Connection, a massage therapist and somatic bodyworker on a mission to help men do just that.
In a recent chat on the Naked Men Talking podcast, Alex broke down how he helps men reconnect with the pleasure that’s already living inside them, waiting to be awakened.
The Art of Feeling
So, what exactly is a “somatic bodyworker”? Forget everything you know about a typical massage. Alex describes his work as a form of “feeling therapy” that’s less about kneading muscles and more about exploring sensation.
“Essentially, I play your body like a musical instrument – I turn up the sound so that you can feel it,” Alex explains. “You can’t feel if you’re thinking, and a thinking experience is not the same as a felt experience.”
He points to a classic example most guys can relate to: getting stuck in your head during sex and losing your erection. According to Alex, that’s often the mind taking over. Somatic bodywork is the antidote. It’s a completely one-sided exchange where the client’s only job is to receive touch, get curious about their body, and simply feel. No pressure, no performance, just pleasure.
From Corporate Cubicles to Naked Connection
Alex’s path to becoming a pleasure guide was anything but straightforward. A decade ago, he was stuck in a corporate job, feeling uninspired and envious of people who actually loved what they did. A sign in a café—”if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten”—was the final push he needed.
He traded his desk for a massage table, starting with a diploma in remedial massage. But it still didn’t feel quite right. His journey led him to sensual Kahuna massage and eventually to a men’s-only studio offering naked yoga and massage. The thought terrified him at first.
“I thought that the clients would be all perverted old men but I realised that they were just regular guys and really nice,” he recalls. After finally taking the leap and working naked himself, he discovered a profound sense of authenticity and connection he’d been craving.
This journey was deeply personal. Growing up gay in the conservative Australian countryside during the 80s AIDS crisis, Alex learned to make himself small and build walls to protect himself.
“My plan was just to run away from home and to kiss a boy. That was my plan. That was all I could think about.”
Years of feeling “not good enough” in the competitive gay scenes of London and Sydney, followed by a string of personal losses—the death of his dog, his parents, and the end of a 17-year relationship—served as a massive wake-up call. “What the fuck am I doing?” he asked himself. “Who am I worried about offending?” This newfound clarity propelled him to stop hiding and fully embrace pleasure work.
A Growing Movement of Male Wellness
Alex’s work isn’t happening in a vacuum. It’s part of a growing industry shift where men are seeking deeper forms of wellness that go beyond the gym. Organizations like the Institute of Somatic Sexology, where Alex trained, and the US-based Body Electric School have been pioneering this work for years, offering workshops and training focused on conscious touch, consent, and erotic education.
The core of this work is creating a safe, structured space for vulnerability. At his old studio, a “no happy endings” policy felt strange to Alex. “My concern was that am I shaming men by not allowing them to express themselves in this way?” he wondered. This question led him to his six-month Sexological Bodywork course, which armed him with the tools—communication, consent, and boundaries—to guide clients through pleasure without shame.
Your Only Job is to Receive
So, how can someone start to feel more connected to their body? Alex suggests looking for a tantric practitioner or a massage therapist who specializes in sensual touch. The key is finding someone who understands that the session is all about you.
“It’s beautiful work because it’s all about you and you don’t have to do anything,” he emphasizes. “All you have to do is receive and feel. And it’s as simple as that. But it’s easier said than done.”
The goal isn’t necessarily a mind-blowing orgasm, though that can certainly happen. The real magic is in the journey of exploration—getting curious about what you like and rewriting old habits.
“It’s not an outcome-based work. It’s really about the journey,” Alex concludes. “If it all connects for you, you can go from basic to mind-blowing. It really can be quite incredible.”
